I'm Straight Up About to Predict Every Week 16 Winner in the NFL

Last week was incredibly close to being my best week yet. I started the week 9-0 and was getting very excited, then the Jaguars decided to play like Super Bowl contenders and rain on my parade in the process. I also got the Broncos' and Giants' games wrong, and I bet you can guess what fourth game I got wrong (it's the Raiders once again, of course.) So I went 12-4, which is still very good, but it's not as good as it could have been.

Jacksonville Jaguars vs. New York Jets

On the season as a whole I would pick the Jets to win this, but with their current standing and with how Jacksonville played last week I think I have to pick the Jaguars. They showed out big time against the Cowboys and I think they deserve another win this week. Also, can we talk about how much better Trevor Lawrence is than Zach Wilson. That's all. Winner: Jaguars

pc: AP Photo

Detroit Lions vs. Carolina Panthers

It's funny because the Lions should absolutely win this game and yet I am somehow less confident in them winning than I was when they matched up against the Jets and Vikings. It's not because of anything they did wrong or anything that the Panthers do right, it's just because it's hard to believe that the Lions may actually be good. Now, with all of that said, I will be picking the Lions to win again this week. However, and it's a big however, do not be surprised when the Lions remember they're the Lions and somehow lose this game. Winner: Lions

Seattle Seahawks vs. Kansas City Chiefs

We are all in agreement that the Chiefs are going to win this game, right? I for one have lost most of my hope in the Seahawks, and at the same time have grown more confident in the Chiefs. I don't know if I am confident enough to say that it will be a blowout, but as far as the winner goes I am fairly confident it will be the Chiefs. Winner: Chiefs

New Orleans Saints vs. Cleveland Browns

This is a surprisingly difficult game to predict. My brain is telling me to pick the Saints, but everything is telling me to go with the Browns. Both teams treated me well last week which makes this pick even harder on me. I think I am just going to have to pick the Browns and deal with the repercussions. Winner: Browns

Houston Texans vs. Tennessee Titans

Well would you look at this, the Titans are going to get a win. I don't like to pick the Titans anymore after a few weeks where they let me down, but this week I am very confident in them getting the win. No matter how mediocre the Titans may be this season, I would still hope that they are capable of beating the worst team in the league. Winner: Titans

pc: AP Photo

Cincinnati Bengals vs. New England Patriots

Even lateral goat Jakobi Meyers isn't going to be able to save the Patriots this week. The Patriots are a bad team, but they are even worse when they don't throw the ball forward. All right that's enough lateral jokes, now let me throw it back to the QB and talk about Joe Burrow. I actually don't want to talk about Joe Burrow, I just wanted to make another lateral joke. Ha hold this L New England. Winner: Bengals

New York Giants vs. Minnesota Vikings

Another game that I really don't have a frontrunner for. I still think the Vikings are the better team, but they have been playing horribly lately. The Giants haven't been playing great either, but at least they picked up a win last week. I do think it's time for the Vikings to get a win, and I think they likely do so this week. (I also want Saquon to have a bad week so I win in fantasy) Winner: Vikings

Buffalo Bills vs. Chicago Bears

This is going to be a bloodbath. This is my one line prediction of the week. Winner: Bills

pc: Timothy Ludwig/Getty Images

Washington Commanders vs. San Francisco 49ers

As much as the Commanders have surprised me this season, they are about to get steam rolled this week. I am a firm believer that the 49ers are a top three team in the NFL, and I think we are going to see further proof of that this week. I will say this, if Washington is able to get the upset win this week I won't be surprised, they've had that dog in them all year. Winner: 49ers

Philadelphia Eagles vs. Dallas Cowboys

Just a couple of weeks ago and I would have picked the Cowboys to win this game. However, they haven't been great as of late, so I should pick the Eagles to win. Buuuuuuuuut.....Jalen Hurts isn't playing in this game. Now we all know backup QB Gardner Minshew is a dog, but I don't think he's going to be able to will this team to a victory. I am picking the Cowboys to win this game, I know, surprising. Winner: Cowboys

Las Vegas Raiders vs. Pittsburgh Steelers

Yeah at this point there really is no point in predicting a Raiders game. They're the only team that I somehow get wrong every week. I am picking them to win this week, and that's it. No explanation because there's no point in giving an explanation. Because I picked them the Steelers are going to win, and if I picked the Steelers the Raiders would win. Winner: Raiders

Green Bay Packers vs. Miami Dolphins

The Dolphins are simply the better team in this matchup. They played Buffalo very well last week, and Green Bay is nowhere close to as good as the Bills. The Dolphins, when healthy, are one of the better teams in the league, and I think they are going to get a big win this week. With that being said, could I see the Packers winning this game? Yes. At the end of the day they still have Aaron Rodgers, and when you have that fruitcake in your corner you always have a chance. Winner: Dolphins

pc: AP Photo

Denver Broncos vs. Los Angeles Rams

This is one of those weeks where there are a ton of games that are very difficult to pick because there are so many mid teams playing against one another. On paper the Rams are obviously the better team, but that hasn't mattered at all this season. They have the same record on the season, so I can't lean one way or the other based on performance. The only thing making me lean one way is that I don't believe Baker Mayfield can stack up against the Broncos defense. We saw him look bad last week against Green Bay, so you have to assume the same thing will happen this week. Winner: Broncos

Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Arizona Cardinals

As we get closer and closer to the playoffs the Bucs need to ensure that they finish first in the NFC South, and winning this game is a good way to do that. I think the Bucs are the better team in this matchup, but with how they've been playing this season it wouldn't surprise me if they lost. I just have to put my trust in Tom Brady and assume that he can will this team to victories when his team needs them. Winner: Buccaneers

Los Angeles Chargers vs. Indianapolis Colts

Oh the Colts, you poor souls. How is it even possible to blow a 33 point lead? Really. How is that possible? The Colts can't even win games when they have 33 point head starts. They could be up fifty going into halftime in this game and they will still lose. The Chargers are better than the Vikings too, so I have a hard time believing that the Colts have any sort of chance in this one. Winner: Chargers

pc: Getty Images